Parenting : it's serious shit.

It's been sinking in over the past few days just how significant <<most>> decisions I make from this point in my life onward might be.  As in, CHRIS AND I ARE GOING TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR TEACHING A BABY HOW TO BE A HUMAN BEING starting on or around the first of October.

While I've thus far been comfortable taking moderate risks (caffeine, the occasional glass of wine, using the stepladders at work, deciding to stay on Cymbalta for as long as possible), I'm starting to worry more than I did before.  The baby's life isn't on the line in the same way it was before (miscarriages after 13 weeks, and stillbirths, are uncommon), but the risk of birthing a child who isn't normal terrifies me.  I mean, none of us are truly normal, but I'll be relieved if/when I find out that this baby is well within the parameters of "functional human being."  I would love a baby with special needs as much as I would a healthy baby, but the thought of special needs parenting terrifies me.

And I need to get off the Cymbalta sometime before third trimester.  Unfortunately, the start of the last leg of this journey falls on a very significant wedding week.  Do I start tapering off it before Alison's wedding and risk being a crazy[-ier] person than usual, or do I postpone it til afterwards and worry about the effects on the baby til the second week of July? 

I'm leaning towards staying on it til after the wedding solely because the risk is no greater now than it has been for the past sixteen weeks.  I haven't found any medical or anecdotal evidence suggesting that Duloxetine produces any birth defects whatsoever - the only problems I've heard about are minor respiratory issues at birth for babies born to mothers who opted to stay on the medication for their third trimester.  That wouldn't be ideal, but it would also be preventable so long as I taper off the Cymbalta by August or September.  I guess it's an issue I still need to talk over with my doctor.

In other news, I'm still running, though it's been happening more like four days a week instead of five because my right hip has been bothering me.  Damn you, relaxin, giving me marshmallow joints!  I did discover last night that running on the grass next to the sidewalk is easier on my hip and knees - I appear to be less sore today as a result.  Anyone know of any nice non-paved running trails in the Detroit area?